


Dawn

by Redlair



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Awkward Conversations, Best Friends, Chae Hyungwon-centric, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, Loneliness, M/M, Mutual Pining, One-Sided Attraction, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 17:07:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17248115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redlair/pseuds/Redlair
Summary: Besides the others in their rock band, Hyungwon’s always had a thing for Minhyuk and whether their “friends-with-benefits” system works, is another.





	Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been attempting to complete this for a while, but it's never gotten to the point I'm fully satisfied, so given some time, there may be some edits, but for the most part, this is all I could think of. Plot and character development huh. Also, sorry for the crude language because it happens and in case you're wondering, both characters are switches/verse!
> 
> And of course, Minhyuk, is that little shit that happens to be the shit that Hyungwon's fallen for. Also, grey-haired, pink-haired, and romanticist!Hyungwon exists in this little plot.  
> Rated M for crude language/profanities/sex/swearing.  
> \---

They were young. Hyungwon doesn’t remember who made the idea up but he went along with it. He thinks it was Minhyuk but it doesn’t remember. What happened after was that their band blew up in success, and here they were, fortunate and lucky enough to strike in rich performing in whatever stage wanted them. They were a fucking rock band. Hyungwon’s music taste may be questionable but he plays the bass and Minhyuk’s the lead guitarists. When Kihyun had looked at them, he had called them giants. That, and that they fit their roles. They didn’t have large, yaoi hands for nothing. At least, put them for good use.

So along the couple months that went on, Hyungwon did whatever he wanted. He got tattoos and had a full sleeve up his arm, and others crossed his chest and back. Hoseok had joked that he was getting addicted, but that didn’t matter. Hoseok had a tattoo on his butt, and Hyungwon reckons that as long as he doesn’t get one over there, it would be fine. Besides, it wasn’t like no one else was fancily decorated on their bodies. Almost everyone had a lot of tattoos on their body, even Minhyuk. Kihyun may have been the only exception choosing to play it safe with only a few small ones on his arms and on places where people would never see. Hoseok tells him that it’s cute. Hyungwon thinks he doesn’t need to know that Hoseok’s seen them before nor why he has in the first place. But Kihyun does have fucking snake bites near his mouth and an industrial piercing in his right ear and Hyungwon thinks it looks pretty good. Kinda hot, actually.

For the new promotions, their band dyed their hair. At the salon, Hyungwon had requested for something different than his usual brunette hair and they gave him ice-grey locks and he certainly doesn’t mind the change. It looked good. Minhyuk dyed his hair a shade of ashy-grey or brown, Hoseok with blue ends and Kihyun in bright red. Everyone’s differentiable and Hyungwon thinks that if anyone wanted to focus on any of them, they could have the full attention. Their band was the full package. Whatever aesthetic you wanted, they had it. - Abs, skinny legends, nice legs, dynamic voices, whatever you wanted. Kihyun could sing of sex and purr and get the crowd going while Minhyuk’s husky tones were the perfect complement to getting sexed up going anywhere. The fact that their music, The Poisoned Roses was rated to be an all time fave among some of the best, he finds it kind of interesting. Hyungwon literally thinks that all the music the band makes is for sex and it’s kind of weird. That’s all he can say, and he’s happy to add that he gets plenty of it. 

Being famous has a whole lot of events. Had it not been for the possible hook ups, those that interested him or free booze, Hyungwon probably wouldn’t go. But here he was, escaping a party with Minhyuk after a couple too many shots of Vodka and some others because Hyungwon’s convinced he’s had some pretty nasty shit and whoever’s making his drinks are tried to get him totally hungover the next morning. It may have been since Minhyuk can’t even handle much than a few beers and some radlers, but that doesn’t really matter. Minhyuk loved to fuck him up, whether it be in giving him the worse mixed drinks possible for the fun of it, or if the other was cramming him inside another Janitor’s closet for a quick fuck for sexual release. But this was different, here they were at tattoo and piercings parlour and Hyungwon’s pretty sure he’s not totally sober either, but he’s thinking of getting either snakebites or a tongue peeking, because why not. Go hard or go home. It’ll only make him look sexier.

 

 

 

“What should I get?”

His vision is honestly a bit, foggy, but he thinks that he could regret things later. One only did live their live once, so why not? If you’re wasted, you’re wasted. At least enjoy it. Minhyuk’s by his side clutching his shoulder and after a couple of moments, Minhyuk points to the tongue piercing.

“Get the tongue piercing, Kihyun has the snake bites, and I don’t know how it’ll be if you’re getting them the same place Kihyun has them, around his lips.”  
“You’re right.”

 

The piercing stings, and he clutches onto Minhyuk’s hand when the piercing commences. His tongue had just been punctured and there may be blood running through it, but Hyungwon spots the glint in Minhyuk’s orbs. It should be a good thing, a good choice that he made and he thinks it’ll be fun. Having a little ball to swirl around in your mouth when you’re bored.

 The group is full of piercings. Minhyuk has a belly piercing, and he had thought of getting a nipple one too, but he backed out last minute. Nonetheless, whenever Hyungwon’s with the other and they’re naked, the little detail makes Minhyuk a bit more spectacular. It’s cute, kind of hot too, and Hyungwon thinks that whatever Minhyuk does, or chooses to add to himself would be a great detail. Minhyuk’s gorgeous if he says so himself, and others did crown himself and Minhyuk to be some of the most gorgeous guys out there in the industry. Wonho’s a total hunk with the few helixes and he supposes that all of them rock that BDSM charm. What’s not to love with piercings, tattoos, bondage, and leather straps on their bodies? The fans dig it.

 

“I can’t wait for your piercing to heal, Hyungwon.” Minhyuk’s hands are on his shoulder trying to soothe him.  
“And why is that?”  
“Because your new lip piercing’s, going to make kissing a whole lot hotter.”

 

-

 

It’s kind of a thing. Somewhere between the amount of sexual tension that occurred due to hormones, and the company’s policy,  they were to stay with each other for 80% of the time, somehow, they’ve gotten into an agreement of being friends-with-benefits. It’s been good so far. Minhyuk and he don’t always have sex, but it’s easy, convenient and super accessible when Minhyuk’s room was just across from his own. No more sad hand jobs or in being alone, Hyungwon had someone there with him. Often times, more than not, they just hung out. It was a natural thing they did often.

Friends before, hoes. Not that it really mattered when your bestie was your fuck-buddy, but whenever Hyungwon just wanted to cuddle, or whenever Minhyuk wanted someone to chat and play games with, Hyungwon was always going to be there. In a way, they’ll always be there for each other, he supposes. Between too many concert venues, car rides, there wasn’t too many other places that one could escape to. It was easy, when they got sick of each other. They had times where they couldn’t stand each other, and that’s what the other members were for, or the fact that they could just be such homebodies. Antisocial at times, Hyungwon not bothering to leave his room for who knows how many hours in a day, and Minhyuk just occupied in his room, reading a good book, or just doing whatever. Kihyun would be the one to tell them to eat, or not. It didn’t really matter, there was always food in the fridge.

 

“Are you going to show your fans your new piercing for the next performance when it heals?”  
“Yea, why not?”

Minhyuk pulls on his arms as the other decides to walk backwards while Hyungwon’s walking forward. They sway a bit, like a little dance and it’s dark out, and maybe it’s still from the high of the alcohol that they’ve both consumed earlier. Not quite drunk, not quite sober, just trying to have some fun. Underneath the street lights, Minhyuk’s smile dazzles and Hyungwon thinks that they’re a fun duo. Nothing beats the two of them together. The attraction they have for each other is mutual. About platonic, birds of a feather flock together, and Hyungwon thinks that if being foolish, reckless is the good life, he’s all for it if Minhyuk’s accompanied by his side.

 

 

For the next few weeks, whenever everyone decided to go out, Minhyuk hung out in Hyungwon’s room. They watched the latest TV episodes, talked about gossip and critiques of their own performances, and practiced together.

They were always together, from the break of dawn to the crack of sunrise. It wouldn’t be a surprise if Kihyun often found them entangled together in bed with Hyungwon’s arm trapped between Minhyuk’s. They cuddled, they muttered secrets before they slept, and somewhere between all of this, Hyungwon thinks he fell in love.

 

—

 

It would be hard to dislike Minhyuk. For all the craziness and passion that the other had, the other knew how to stroke Hyungwon’s ego but playful enough to keep him humble.

They’re on Minhyuk’s bed, and the other’s all snuggled up between the multiple blankets and Hyungwon just shakes his head because it really isn’t that cold. Or the fact that the other always had a habit of opening his window during the Winter weather but then needs two duvets on his bed to sleep properly. Opening the window clearly messes with the heating system that’s turned on but Minhyuk obviously doesn’t care.

“You’re a mess. Chaotic, even.”  
“And that’s why I belong in a rock band.”

Minhyuk’s eyes crinkle when he smiles and Hyungwon wonders what’ll happen if the gleam disappears. Had the other been ordinary, and not uniquely chaotic because one wouldn’t be Lee Minhyuk if he obeyed rules. But still, Hyungwon’s orderly and he thinks that even if he wanted to play it slow, it doesn’t happen. Minhyuk likes everything fast. He eats fast, walks fast, and Hyungwon’s just lagging behind.

“A rock band doesn’t explain why you’re like this.”  
“Well, I don’t see why you can’t accept me for this right now.”

“Sure, Minhyuk.”  
“I’m always right.”

Everyone has a purpose in life, but Hyungwon can’t seem to figure out what “life,” means to the other than fulfilling hedonic pleasures. Too much of good things never worked out. It’s just that Hyungwon doesn’t know enough either, and he supposes that without a good agreement, it’s best not to say anything else. It wasn’t like he knew his own life goals either and he indulged in the fun too. He joined in at whatever reckless activity Minhyuk ushered him to.

“It’s fate, Hyungwon. Trust your gut, and have some fun.”

 

 

 

True to his words, when Hyungwon’s piercing heals in a few weeks, Minhyuk hasn’t forgotten. They’re backstage somewhere and they’re wearing their stage outfits and Hyungwon has multiple buckles on him. Some on his shoulders, some on his pants, and even more on his belt. The silver rings make him look like some sex doll but so does everyone else. He could be the perfect sex doll with the visage and body that he is. The makeup artists’ are done checking over him and Hyungwon’s just clearing his throat, because every single time, there’s always the excited and nervous energy inside of him and he’s just doing whatever he can to relax.

“Hey, come over.” Minhyuk’s beside him with the others fussing over him to make sure he looks good, and Hyungwon just stays where he is. He can’t bare to go for a bathroom break now, not when he doesn’t know when they’ll perform. It could be in a minute, it could be thirty seconds, and he thinks he’s just going to wait in line.

“I said, come over.” Minhyuk’s not having it. When the other is finished, the other draws him in with a harsh tug at his belt buckles and his body falls forward, crashing against Minhyuk’s bony hips and the other’s smirking.

“Let’s go somewhere, it’ll be quick.”

Hyungwon doesn’t know how Minhyuk does it, but he follows suit. It’s not like the other’s going to heed to his own opinion anyways. Might as well, go along with it. With Minhyuk, it was always the other’s way. They head just right behind the curtain and with everyone else preoccupied, nobody would know/

 

“What?” Hyungwon stares at the other in anticipation of whatever’s going to happen. Minhyuk has a smirk on his face and he guesses it just happens. The other starts full-on forcibly kissing him and Hyungwon knows that his lips will end up looking blotched after this but he can’t bring himself to care. The other’s mouth is hot on his and when the tongue action begins, he feels Minhyuk’s tongue swirling against his piercing like a pearl in its shell or and when they pull away, he’s amused.

“How is it?” Hyungwon sticks out his tongue.  
“I like it. Kissing you with the piercing makes it even better. 100% would do it again.”  
“Then, do it again.”

Minhyuk gives gives him a chuckle. When they rejoin with the members backstage, the others look at them as if something interesting happened, but there’s not really much other than the knowing glint that they both in his eyes.

 

 

—

 

 

He’s definitely had orgies before. Foursomes, threesomes, whatever. There were some he never quite remembered other than the scratches down his back the next morning, but the memorable ones were definitely the ones where it was just his bandmates and maybe Minhyuk along with them. Kinda hot, but seeing how possessive Kihyun was, everyone else decided that monogamy might be the best route to go. It’s good enough to know that Hoseok bottoms.

But tonight, it’s just the usual. Just him and Minhyuk in some empty room, and at least they’re not fucking on the vacant chair.

 

“Minhyuk! Hyungwon! We’ve got five minutes before performing!”

And they’ve got it on. A smirk on their faces because Minhyuk was feeling horny so being the best fuck buddy (one could ever have), Hyungwon had pulled both of them into the nearest vacant room and locked the door because they just need five minutes. Maybe even less, they don’t need a timer. It’s a routine. It always ends the same way, almost giving each other a bruise from the amount of harsh handling inside such confined spaces. They were members from a rock band. So whether or not they’ve got mussed-up hair after really doesn’t matter. It’s sexy enough and the fans that cheer for them onstage after giving each other a quick blowjob or quickie, is enough to confirm it. Besides, it was just a club that they were performing at. It didn’t matter if they looked a bit mussed up. People get drunk and hazy at clubs, so it really didn’t matter. Don’t put morales into this.

If Hyungwon was to ever agree, the two of them being the bass and lead guitarists was pretty much a hint to their role. They didn’t have long hands for nothing. They were well-versed and it made the penetration that much easier when Minhyuk’s sticking his index and middle finger into his ass and when Hyungwon’s hips tilt to position himself better, Minhyuk’s other hand gives him a large slap across his ass and there’s nothing more that turns him on that a pained moan.

“Fuck me. Get it on already!” Hyungwon doesn’t whine, but if Minhyuk wanted to fuck, he doesn’t have the patience to have Minhyuk not take off his pants and get the job going on right now.

“Patience is key, Won.” Minhyuk sucks a hickey on his neck, and seriously, anyone could see that. There’s nothing to hide- not when Hyungwon’s just wearing a v-neck tonight.

Minhyuk just thrusts into him and Hyungwon moans out loud. There’s no warning, no lube or even a condom and Hyungwon knows that he’s having dry intercourse right now, but given some time, the pain would go away and there’ll be natural lubricant from Minhyuk’s pre-cum alone.

“You’re so fucking tight, no matter how many times we do this.”  
“Then carry lube, you asshole!”

The laugh that Minhyuk gives disagrees. He always liked it rough, and when his hormones were running, who cared for lube. “I want to hear you getting wrecked, so I’m not going to.”

Minhyuk still has a lollipop in his mouth but that doesn’t stop him from grinning with all his pointy teeth and from planting another slap across Hyungwon’s rear. If anything, he’s pretty sure that Minhyuk’s hand is about the same size as his buttcheek if not even larger. Surface area.

“You’re a real dick.”

“I know,” and Minhyuk gives him another obnoxious wink ,” I wouldn’t be if I didn’t have you moaning like this each time we do this.”

 

 

 -

 

 

The relationship? Their status? The members just assumed. It wasn’t like them to intrude and ask. After all, usually, before performances or just when they were at home, if Minhyuk was’t being a ruckus or just constantly complaining about when’s dinner, he’s with Hyungwon. More often than not, in Hyungwon’s room. It’s not like that there’s much that Hyungwon does than sleep. But when MInhyuk goes in, sometimes it’s just quiet and Kihyun just assumes that they’re probably catching a nap together and other times, simply just hanging out watching whatever movie they had found while sharing the snacks that Hyungwon was always munching on.

 

It’s not like they never had proper sex before. But these moments were rare to none. Minhyuk was always one for the thrill, the fun, and the fast-paced snapping of the hips. He’s not patient enough to spend more than enough time to wait for a good, and sensual fuck, so it’s whatever. And whatever thoughts that Hyungwon does have, because he honestly does appreciate a good, slow fuck in bed, with a cuddle after never gets done. He’s never asked, and he doesn’t think Minhyuk would ever reciprocate to that idea. They were fuck buddies, but that was it. There was no denying that. They’ve fucked each other more than enough to know which spot gave the other euphoria best. How they liked to be manhandled and the level of roughness that either of them deemed appropriate.

 

Parties, booze, foolish actions- Hyungwon’s seen them all and tonight isn’t any different. He’s on one of the velvet sofas doing nothing really, and Minhyuk’s temporarily by his side downing a couple of shots. It’s only going to take a few more mojitos and maybe some more mixed drinks until Minhyuk’s going to be properly buzzed and heading out to the open space alone. Hyungwon’s not going with him, not that Minhyuk ever requests Hyungwon to, but because Hyungwon prefers not to.

“You gonna dance?”  
“No, I’m just going to be here.”

 

And Minhyuk gives him the look again. As if Hyungwon’s boring, no fun, with the quick quirk of eyebrows and Hyungwon knows that Minhyuk disagrees with his decision. He’s sure that it’s probably fun to mingle with others, and make any more connections that could be possible, but Hyungwon knows pretty much everyone else at the party and he’s not like Minhyuk. He doesn’t feel horny 20/7 not that Minhyuk always has a hard on but he’s not that desperate to be intimate with practically anyone that could be decent.

Hyungwon watches and Minhyuk quickly sucks on a piece of lime, squinting at the taste before he knocks another drink down. At this point, it wasn’t like Minhyuk cared at whatever he drank. Bourbon, whiskey, shots, whatever. His main goal was just to get knocked up tonight, and it wasn’t Hyungwon that he wanted.

“Well, I’m going then.”

Hyungwon doesn’t nod, but the other heads off anyways. It has always been like this since. He doesn’t know when, but he knows that it’s probably been like this since the past few months ever since that time they’ve last slept with each other and that was only four weeks ago. Yea, he had been counting, and Hyungwon doesn’t know if that makes him that desperate and lame to know that he has been keeping count, wondering why Minhyuk never bothers to come to him anymore.

 

The thought of him being boring, seems to be the only reason. But Hyungwon can’t think of another reason to dispel the truth. It wasn’t like Minhyuk was any different from him at home. They hung out together, were basically home-bound most of the time, with occasional meet ups with friends but that was all. There was no need for an 180 degree change of personality or of intentions. It wasn’t like Hyungwon recalled anything that he had done to the other either. Nothing was that much different. Perhaps a few more gazes, but they’ve always looked at each other in the eyes when they spoke, and it’s hard for Hyungwon not to notice the little stares Minhyuk gave him that varied from devilish to just admiration. Besides, everyone needs some space from each other.

 

So he downs a couple more shots of whiskey. It wasn’t like he was going to leave any time, too soon anyways. He would usually leave with the rest of the members, mostly with Minhyuk, but as a crew, somehow making it all back home. It’s perhaps after a couple songs, maybe seven when Minhyuk comes back again and the other looks down right messy. -Tousled hair, lips botched from being bitten, and it’s just a hot mess.

He clutches the wine bottle, a bottle he had found next to him and he’s been drinking out of for the past half an hour. Hyungwon doesn’t know a lot, but he knows well enough that he won’t be the one acting out of his own ways. It didn’t matter if he didn’t like Minhyuk dancing and grinding on others, or in being the spotlight of the dance floor. The other always liked having attention and Hyungwon’s desire that only continues to grow in him would only please Minhyuk more had Hyungwon told the other. So Hyungwon doesn’t do anything. He sits alone at the bar, ignores the many others around him, and pretends. He pretends that he’s immune, not hurt, and that Minhyuk’s that little thing that can be left on the back-burner, because with his own sarcastic demeanour, he’s only trying to protect his own fragile heart. An ego too fragile and delicate to even pretend anymore, nobody needs to know.

 

“You alright?” Minhyuk’s next to him downing a couple more shots. Perhaps it’s the alcohol wearing out, it has been a couple of minutes since the other had last drank.

  
“Yea, just thinking.”  
“Of what?”

 

Maybe it’s because Hyungwon takes too long to answer, but Minhyuk has never been too patient anyways. It has always been Hyungwon that’s been more of the patient side. Patient enough to accept whatever the crap Minhyuk sometimes gave him because Minhyuk could be bitchy, a whole drama-queen, and too sassy for anyone to even comprehend. But Hyungwon still tries to understand. Or perhaps it’s the last gaze that Hyungwon gives the other and it’s too deep, and dark for anyone to think shallowly about.

It’s not that Hyungwon’s trying to speak through the orbs of his eyes, but because he knows that the eyes are the window to your soul, and he’s feeling ultimately wrecked, lost, and among many other things from having one-sided feelings that he hopes that in giving Minhyuk such a look that the other would understand.

And Minhyuk most likely does. Because the last thing that the other says to him before he leaves again hurts no less than other.

 

 

“What are you bring so uptight for?”  
“Nothing, there’s nothing.”

Minhyuk quirks another eyebrow at him and Hyungwon shakes his head. There’s no problem. None at all. It had been dumb on his part in expecting Minhyuk to understand, or to even react in an appropriate manner that Hyungwon would have liked. For the rest of the night, he busies himself at the bar. He doesn’t need to know what the rest of them are doing. He’s aware enough that Changkyun’s probably socialising with Jooheon, the drummer from another awesome band, The Abyss. Then there’s Kihyun probably just cozying up to Hoseok because there’s most likely a thing between him and Hoseok, and Hyungwon just hasn’t figured out what. Probably just like himself and Minhyuk he supposes or something more. It’s hard to miss the long stares that Hoseok has whenever Kihyun’s talking, and Hyungwon corrects himself. The two were probably dating. He’s 100% sure, as he swings another mixed drink in his mouth and he makes a face, because the one he just had tastes absolutely horrible. It’s sour and hot in the wrong ways and he swears, that there just may be Tobasco sauce in in. It’s probably just as bad as the chips Hyungwon keeps shoving in his mouth. They taste too oily and maybe a bit rancid after that particular shot, and Hyungwon think that he should probably go home. Alone. Simply, because he knows the others are probably going to be here until the early morning. Might as well get out of here, before he makes anymore dumb decisions.

 

Looking out at the crowd, he doesn’t spot any of his band mates on the dance floor. The disco ball that resumes flashing seems like nothing but ice cold against the contrast of the dark room and the flashing lights of white and color only resemble what Hyungwon thinks could be the remnants of the feelings that still remain. Pieces that he doesn’t know what to do with.

 

He doesn’t know what time it is but Hyungwon exits the party venue, and he’s glad that there aren’t any photographers around or anything because he just walks home. Screw Uber or any car-pick up service. He’ll walk it out, sober out, and hopefully get those thoughts of Minhyuk out of his head. Hyungwon thinks that he can afford to work out, those pin legs of his, that could gain some muscle or something. It’s only a 4k walk, uphill towards the hills.

But the words sting. They burn him over and over and his mouth, Hyungwon wishes that he could disagree, because he could have, had he not developed stupid feelings.

 

 

 _“We never said that we were exclusive, Hyungwon.”  
_ _“No, we’re not.”_

And that’s what digs at him. If Minhyuk was fire, then Hyungwon would let himself get burned into ashes and then dust. If Minhyuk was the ocean, then Hyungwon would have drowned so long ago, because no matter what Minhyuk said, he would always say yes, without a thought. Because Minhyuk was always factual and Hyungwon could never bring himself to disagree. They were only the truth. Hyungwon had let it be. He just wanted a dating relationship with Minhyuk all to himself.

 

 

-

 

 

When Hyungwon wakes up, he’s on the white, leather sofa. He’s still dressed in last night’s attire, with those skin-tight leather jeans forming against his legs, and his silk shirt unbuttoned. There’s not supposed to be anyone at home. But it’s already 1PM and he thinks that someone must have woken him up or something because there’s a blanket on his body, and he thinks he smells stew or soup, because suddenly his stomach rumbles and Hyungwon’s grateful, that at least Kihyun’s there.

 

That doesn’t stop him from getting off the couch. It isn’t until Kihyun comes over threatening him with a spatula telling him that he’s not going to get any waffles if he continues to waste his time, does Hyungwon head for the shower. There’s nothing like coming clean, because, Hyungwon thinks there was some glitter in his hair or something, he doesn’t know. But in the shower, with the use of some refreshing shower wash and scrubbing on his body, he’s feeling more awake and clean. There are no thoughts in his head, but of food and maybe more sleep later. He’ll catch on practice later on in the day.

 

It’s abalone porridge. Trust Kihyun to be the VIP of the household because no else could bother to cook, and too much of any kind of takeout grosses you out.  
Hyungwon’s busy eating the bowl served in front of him, and he notices how Hoseok’s most likely at the gym again, and it’s just him and Kihyun. He doesn’t speak until Kihyun asks.

“Rough night?”  
“Nah, I left early.”

Kihyun nods. There was always a good connection between Hyungwon and the other. They didn’t say much, and despite their constant agreements on some things, they always got each other. The mentality worked.

 

“And Minhyuk?”  
Hyungwon finishes up. “I don’t know. I went home alone. Why?”

Kihyun frowns because this wasn’t normal. Hyungwon was always with Minhyuk, and vice versa. As far as Hyungwon’s aware, they’re definitely not in a relationship. Friends with benefits, was their thing. And in the time that he had caught on feelings or something, he didn’t bother to tell Minhyuk. Maybe it was the fact that Minhyuk would probably think he was joking or the fact that he thinks that he’s not the other’s type. They’ve watched too many movies together and whenever they spoke of who was attractive, all the traits that Minhyuk described was the pure opposite of whom he was. - Hunky, hot, competent and preferably a lawyer. Jokes on Hyungwon, because at most, he’ll probably cover hot and competent, but if anything, he looks like complete shit half the time. Hot shit.

 

“You didn’t go home with Minhyuk?”  
“No?”

“Since when did that happen?”  
“Since last night?”

Hyungwon opens the cupboard and grabs at his stash. They were just a collection of chips, and it was great. Sometimes fans would give them snacks, and half the time, it was just him, Minhyuk, and sometimes Kihyun digging in. But Doritos, were pretty good. Sun Chips too. Hyungwon doesn’t know what Kihyun’s trying to say, so he guesses it’s best for him to clarify it himself. He doesn’t want his band members to think anything less of true.

 

“I’m not with him. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”

It’s that moment that Kihyun finally understands after too much giving him the side-eye in many previous other events when Minhyuk would be out mingling with others. It is also this moment that Minhyuk comes out of his own bedroom topless with splotches of red marks over his chest and pretty much all over. It’s good to know that the other got some last night.

“What wrong idea?”  
“Nothing.”

 

And it’s obviously none of the other’s business, but Minhyuk always liked to pry. It wouldn’t be Minhyuk, if he didn’t. The Minhyuk who always heads to the kitchen looking for food complaining, the Minhyuk, who Hyungwon thinks he likes, but he’s not entirely sure of what, where, and how; Minhyuk, the irritation in his stomach causing him to feel sick whenever he spots the other walking around so inappropriately.

“What do you mean “nothing?”  
“None of your business.”  
“Go wear a shirt. I don’t need to know anything about your sex life!”

Kihyun points to Minhyuk in distaste. Hyungwon nods. A shirt to cover up those blotchy marks would be nice. Anything to conceal the evidence his mind is tripping over that it’s not him planting those bites on the other but someone else. Someone else that Hyungwon shouldn’t care about, but does. Hyungwon hears Minhyuk shrieking from his own room as he searches for a plain shirt to wear.

“What’s for breakfast?” Hyungwon wills himself not to correct the other. It was almost two now. More like lunch.

“Abalone porridge.”

Hyungwon hears a shriek. It was one of Minhyuk’s favourite meals. Both of their favourites, actually. Of course, he would know. (Redid know everything about Minhyuk).

 

—

 

 

Hyungwon sleeps more nowadays. There are some knowing looks that Kihyun gives him, but at least Hoseok doesn’t know. He doesn’t need the entire band to notice the drift in between him and Minhyuk, and Hyungwon knows that it’s him who’s making all efforts to push the other way. He doesn’t know if it’s the distance that’s supposed to make him feel better, but it really doesn’t help him feel better when he knows that Minhyuk’s most likely having the time of his life at a friend’s house, or from another one-night stand. The list doesn’t stop. Minhyuk’s not one for commitment. He did whatever felt right, and good in the moment. He never thought of consequences, and when it came, Hyungwon supposes that Minhyuk’s probably just going to be like, “fuck it.”

It’s this, that Hyungwon questions his own being. Has he grown? It’s definitely a dumb question because the statement that he’s becoming more wise each year, as he ages is of no question, but to fully question his own maturity as an adult, it’s one that confirms some things. Some things of his own and the differences he and Minhyuk had.

The only comparison he could probably make was up to Minhyuk standards. If anything, Hyungwon definitely knows that Hoseok was definitely more motivated than him than anything and Hyungwon thinks that he’s probably a lazy ass then, and if you put Kihyun into the scenario, than he’s just better off being a baby because Kihyun was clearly the caretaker, the responsible one, and the one that most likely had his shit together.

If Hyungwon looked like he had his shit together most of the time, it was simply because either he didn’t care enough, or that sometimes, he did. Sometimes. But in what way could you pair monogamy to maturity. They were two, separate and independent things. One simply couldn’t put a correlation to that. Maturity and personal preference for relationships were separate, and Hyungwon thinks that maybe, the best choice for himself, may possibly be, just a asexual agnostic. Hyungwon doesn’t even know if he trusts himself and when he had called Changkyun, even the younger seemed to know and called it a “phase.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. It’s just a phase. You’re lovestruck over Minhyuk, and god knows when, he’ll reciprocate, so just get over it, for the time being.”

If only, it was that easy. If only his own relations to Minhyuk was as simple as 1+1=2, because he knew Minhyuk inside out and he also knows that Minhyuk is aware that he’s purposefully avoiding the other. Not that the other made note, to complain or ask what’s wrong. Eventually, Hyungwon would come over the conflict, but this time, Hyungwon doesn’t know if he wants to do that anymore.

 

 

 

Hyungwon mellows out. Well, actually, he’s been mellow and chill since day one, but he’s best at being dreamy, sleep eyes, staying in bed, and just keeping everything in his head. He supposes that getting stoned just mellows him out 100% more, more than he already was.

He’s taking a drag from the joint that Changkyun had passed to him, they were just hanging out in the balcony and he’s so into their conversation that he doesn’t even notice Minhyuk coming home. Hyungwon may be stoned, but he knows that Minhyuk hates not getting an invite for a good smoke, but he’s not going to invite him. Why? Because, he still needs some time alone, and he doesn’t know if having Minhyuk smoking with him and Changkyun would clear anything at all.

“You’re really not going to call him out for this?”  
“Call him out in ‘general’ you mean?”

“For weed, I mean. He’s always digged a nice batch.”  
“Nah.”

Hyungwon laughs. There’s a smirk on his lips and he knows that Changkyun thinks he’s kind of being inconsiderate, but whatever. Changkyun knows enough behind that smirk. It seems insincere but it’s still sincere. The sad lift from the edge of his lips that’s trying to just protect his own pride. It’s up to him to sort things out with Minhyuk, and Changkyun, who only came by enough to catch the mere highlights of their band life, didn’t need to intrude. Also, if he ever needed to rat Minhyuk out, there was plenty to talk about. It’s just that there was never a need to. Hyungwon simply let it go. Whatever, Minhyuk did to irk him, there was no point being so tongue-tied over the other’s ways.

 

The view below their balcony are houses, and the lights over the city only add to the good buzz that he’s feeling. He doesn’t know how long it is, but Changkyun goes over to him, sits on him, like the way they used to when they were younger, and Hyungwon just laughs before ruffling the other’s hair.

“Don’t fret over my problems. Just be glad that I’m grateful for you, and that hopefully, you don’t ever get stuck over such minuscule troubles I’m having.”

Changkyun doesn’t respond. He just lets the silence linger a bit more, and it works. It guilt trips whatever it is, those thoughts inside Hyungwon’s head and it stirs. He and Minhyuk. Minhyuk and himself.

_Loving you ’til the end like XYZ…_

 

 

 

Hyungwon can’t seem to get Minhyuk out of his head, and he supposes that he’s doomed until the very end. The surmounted feelings that’s been hiding in his heart in refuge. Changkyun doesn’t say no more, and they decide that it’s a good note to end. It’s about 3AM, Hyungwon doesn’t care for what time is and if it even matters. He didn’t even look at the watch or his phone the entire time and he was just feeling good. So good, to be lying to himself.

“You know, I talk to Minhyuk too sometimes.”  
“Yea, and?”

“He tells me that he misses you.”

 

Hyungwon doesn’t reply. He gives a small nod, (because he already knows that) and makes sure that Changkyun has everything he needs with him, and ushers the other out the door. He wants the other to leave, leave because it’s only a constant reminder of what should be done, what is right, and the reason he’s being so petty for. Changkyun’s staring at him with earnest eyes, trusting that he’ll patch things up with Minhyuk, some time and Hyungwon knows that he would. Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow, when the time is right.

“Good night.”  
“I’ll see you.”

 

 

 

 

For whatever reason that Hyungwon thought that he could peacefully sleep after getting high, it doesn’t work. The feelings he had from being “high,” still bordered consciousness, and it’s not enough to knock him out from any no-sense sense.

He sits on the couch gazing out at the outside. There’s the pool, the stars, and a couple miles from where he was currently living, the big world filled with all kinds of possibilities.The house is quiet. Only the clock ticks, and the occasional hums that refrigerator makes. Other than that, it’s completely quiet and even so after Hyungwon had taken a shower, and remained just in his bathrobe staring out at what’s in front of him.

It’s probably 4AM, but he can’t sleep. And maybe, it hurts even more to know that Minhyuk’s sleeping fine. In a few hours, Kihyun’s probably going to wake up, cook breakfast again, and the cycle repeats again. The routine that’s comfortable but has become a dread to Hyungwon. He want’s out, escaping of this tedious cycle, but not without leaving his group.

 

He takes a nap on the couch. It’s not that his bedroom isn’t more welcoming because it is, but for some reason, Hyungwon think he’s still thinking, a bit. A bit is enough. He’s made some progress and sooner or later, he thinks that whatever relationship he has with Minhyuk would be back to normal again. He really doesn’t need to think too much. He doesn’t even need to think honestly. What’s with him thinking of feelings when all the lyrics he helps write talk about pure sex, no strings attached, and just the force that was the complete opposite of how he was feeling now: lost, vulnerable, and solemn.

 

But the cycle goes on. A couple days, a couple weeks, and it’s until the next promotions does things change again.

Minhyuk dyes his hair a bright red before their comeback, and Hyungwon doesn’t even bother to stare. The other suited any hair color, given the right shade. The others had complimented Minhyuk, but he had chosen to stay silent. It’s not that he doesn’t want to say anything, it’s just that he can’t bring himself to talk with the other again. Hyungwon acknowledges that hurt he see in the other’s eyes, but it easily turned cold. Hyungwon doesn’t know if both of them were being petty, but Minhyuk hasn’t stopped either. He hadn’t halted any promiscuous activities and the stories of the multiple orgies he had heard at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, isn’t the only thing that’s stopping him from trying to repair his relationship. If Minhyuk wants a good fuck, there are plenty of others out there willing to satisfy him. But Hyungwon thinks that he wants to be more than that. More than just being good with his dick, and someone that he could perhaps spend a long time with, and Minhyuk may just never know.

 

—

 

 

Hyungwon doesn’t know what he was thinking, but he assumes that since they were a rock band, it wouldn’t hurt to be obnoxious. Maybe even punk. It’s not obnoxious like a pure blast of bright pink or magenta but he thinks the change is enough. He can afford to look like a fucking delicate flower in the band when everyone else looks a bit more intense. His hair is a blossom of a light-pink, and if anything, he contrasts the rock band’s heavy image, but Hyungwon doesn’t give a fuck. If rock includes emotions, then he’s definitely playing it out right now. He’s in love. He’s awe-struck. He’s all those positive emotions in his hair because he can’t bare to handle it in real life. Life is stressful, to the very end.

 

It’s before the day of the comeback when Minhyuk comes back home and Hyungwon notices that the other had changed it to light grey. It looks nice, he supposes. He had always thought that ashy tones suited the other, but whatever, Minhyuk could do whatever he wanted, and Hyungwon still wouldn’t stop him. He’ll never stop to see the day where Minhyuk’s stops being so dazzling.

 

By dinner time, it’s strangely quiet. The sky had gone dark by 4:30PM and Hyungwon thinks he’ll screw winter weather. It was gloomy and dark and even though he was just eating a home, it didn’t make it less of a good mood to see the sky so dark and his company so bleak. Not that Kihyun is gloomy, but he really had nothing much to say to Kihyun, and much less to Minhyuk right now. There was Shabu Shabu for dinner, and after Hyungwon had his complete fill, and left, Minhyuk had announced that he was full. If Hyungwon’s not wrong, the other was definitely not full. No amount of snacks or treats the other indulged on was ever made him full enough, and no one skips out on Shabu Shabu.

“I’m finished!” Minhyuk hums as he pushes in his chair.  
“Are you sure?” Kihyun turns off the on button of the stove and brings a lid over it. “I’ll save the food here, in case you get hungry later.”

“Okay, thanks! You’re the best, Kihyun!” For someone like Minhyuk, he played it well. Being eloquent in his own way and pretending to be oblivious, to the obvious awkwardness at the table.

 

Kihyun mutters an “I know,” but Minhyuk’s already off. The other was always going somewhere. Recently, he had gone out a lot and enough for Kihyun and the others to disapprove of his behavior. There could be possible scandals, if the paparazzi caught him. There were numerous times that Minhyuk was just out and about, and that close to been caught had it not been for the manager of whoever other member was close enough to quickly bring him home.

The other was like an unstable force, and even more so. It’s clear it’s due to the complications that Minhyuk and Hyungwon were having, and neither member really knew why. Sure, Hyungwon may have clarified to Kihyun that he wasn’t dating Minhyuk, but even so, what was with the unresolved tension? It stung, ice-cold. The two that used to joke and laugh together were now silent, and the home has never been this quiet before. Kihyun knows though that Minhyuk would resolve it sooner or later. That, or that through time, the two would be back to normal again, because they were just strange boys who were sometimes mature enough to let things go. Sometimes.

 

“Are you going out again? Tonight?”  
“No, I’ll be staying at home tonight. Don’t worry so much geez, Kihyun. Let me have some fun, will you?”

  
“I’m just worried.”  
“And I’m not, so forget it.”

It’s hard to think that the two didn’t suit each other. If anything, they were more compatible than any possible interaction considering that they’ve known each other since they were in their teens. Although Kihyun had been friends with the two since, the two always had a different, indisputable bond between the two. Like Siamese twins, it could only go worse or for the better.

 

- 

 

 

Hyungwon’s in his room. Well, more often than not, you’ll find him in his room. Just dilly dallying about, doing nothing. Sometimes watching a movie, sometimes writing lyrics, sleeping or playing games. He was a homebody and he’s even more surprised when Minhyuk comes into his room unannounced without even knocking. Sure, his room was never locked because he never felt the need to, but it’s still kind of rude that Minhyuk suddenly wants to talk to him out of the blue. Just, where was the knocking? 

It’s weird seeing someone you know that you’ve been trying to avoid all this time. Even more, when Hyungwon’s topless because he’s kind of been working out due to stress, and he’s just wearing a pair of sweatpants exposing the v-line by his pelvis and hip bones protruding out. Minhyuk comes in seeing Hyungwon like this, with the secret tattoos exposed, and they decorate his slender form. The full-sleeve of tattoos on the arm, the dragon at Hyungwon’s side that extends to his back, he’s inked mainly in black with a few coloured ones, but they’re not the highlight.

 

“Hey?”

Minhyuk takes a sit on his bed. Hyungwon frowns, he’s never let’s anyone on his bed and not even Minhyuk has been allowed. It was his private space, his safe haven, and his room, for the past few months, have been Minhyuk-free. He would very much prefer it that way. Minhyuk doesn’t miss the disgusted face the other has on the moment he entered the other’s room.

Hyungwon remains silent. He doesn’t know if he’s ready. He doesn’t even know if he wants to talk to the other actually.

 

“What? Am I not allowed to hang out with you anymore?”

Hyungwon fights off the urge to roll his eyes. He had been dreading this topic. He doesn’t even know an “us,” between him and Minhyuk other than the fact that they were in the same band. Or at least he’s been trying to convince himself that.

“What about it?” His tone is harsh. Hyungwon maybe even snapped, but Minhyuk knows. Was Hyungwon really that pissed, he would have scolded him the moment he landed on the other’s bed. Therefore, so far, it was still okay. Minhyuk softens his voice.

 

“I just missed us being together. You know, just hanging out, and just doing our own thing. We don’t even need to fuck.”

Hyungwon laughs. He’s amused. Fuck. Of course, Minhyuk would mention that. Pure fucking, was bliss. Now, it isn’t so between them anymore.

“That’s all, right? Us fucking around?” He pulls on a tee over his head because it’s weird. Minhyuk’s busy looking at him and at his body, and the last thing Hyungwon needs to see is Minhyuk piercing gaze trying to make sense of what the other detailed tattoos (that no one ever sees) are supposed to be. (Not even Minhyuk has really seen them, previously). When they used to mess around, they were in dark spaces, so Minhyuk never really paid attention to them nor was Hyungwon the type to go around topless. He was usually, somewhat conservative, excluding those tight, leather pants he wore and those skinny jeans that he had. They made his legs and butt look good. But the meaning tattoos he kept for himself were just reminders of himself, and he doesn’t want to explain them them to the other. There’s too much going on, to even start on something else.

 

“No…you mean way more to me than just that. It’s just-”

Minhyuk frowns and pouts at the same time, and it’s been so long since Hyungwon has seen that expression on the other’s face. It was rare. If Minhyuk wasn’t sleeping, he was usually all loud, being a ruckus with a dazzling smile over his face, and this expression, was especially reserved for when he was confused.

“It was a misunderstanding, Minhyuk.”

 

Hyungwon turns around about to head out the door of his own room, because he thinks he’s quite done. He’s finished it clean, his conversation with Minhyuk, and he had nothing else to say. He didn’t know what to say even. But Minhyuk was faster. The other leaps at the door, closes and locks it before Hyungwon even has the chance to reach the knob.

“Are you seriously locking us in my own room right now?” Hyungwon’s eyebrow quirks up and he doesn’t know if he’s feeling pissed or even amused right now.  
“Yes?” Of course, Minhyuk’s voice peaks up at the end.

Hyungwon appreciates the other’s efforts. He supposes that’s why he heads back to the other corners of his room because if Minhyuk was to do this, then he had no choice, then to hear whatever the other wanted to say. After all, he still had morals and he was always one to consider how effortful and genuine anyone could be. Somehow, Minhyuk convinces Hyungwon to settle comfortably on top of his own bed with Minhyuk still on it, and Hyungwon doesn’t know where to begin.

“What do you mean, a misunderstanding?” Minhyuk drawing circles on his thigh, and Hyungwon just closes his eyes before he answers. It’s hard to remain angry for long, Minhyuk knows him best and the circle the others is drawing only soothe him.

 

“I misinterpreted what we had going on.”

There’s no other way to state it. Simply the fact that perhaps, Hyungwon had assumed for too long, (he was blinded) in that considering that all Minhyuk and he fucked, as fuck buddies, that there was perhaps a chance, that it was exclusive. Clearly, it wasn’t.

“You mean our system?” Hyungwon doesn’t answer but Minhyuk continues. “To be honest, I made it up on the spot, because I didn’t really know what was going to happen. I thought that maybe it worked out for the best, for both of us. You know? I had true intentions in that we could both be satisfied, I just didn’t realise, if I didn’t satisfy you enough or anything like that. I didn’t want either of us to be bounded. You know that I don’t like to be tied down…”

 

It’s obviously not just that. It’s more of the fact that Minhyuk had led Hyungwon on without himself realising, and there was nothing that Hyungwon could have done to stop his feelings. Especially, not when he was so deep in the mess he had created and stepped into.

“Not the sex part. It was feelings, Minhyuk. Feelings, that you know that I never usually get. If anything, the boundaries were more for yourself, you would know that I’m not too into having multiple partners…”

Hyungwon doesn’t know what else to say. Both of them knew that Hyungwon normally, never caught feelings for anyone. This revelation was more astounding than anything because usually, Minhyuk would be the one, to harbour a mini crush on someone for a maximum of two-weeks, but still feelings nonetheless, before they went away.

“Oh.”

 

Oh, indeed. Hyungwon turns around so he’s not facing Minhyuk. He wasn’t facing the other the entire time earlier (looking at the ceiling), but he thinks it’ll probably be better if he faced the open window right now than whatever expressions and actions that Hyungwon could see from his peripheral vision. What was he supposed to expect? A sorry from the other? That much, wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t Minhyuk’s fault that Hyungown caught feelings, when it wasn’t supposed to happen. No one told either of them that it would happen, and Hyungwon thinks it’s not right either to have Minhyuk taking responsibilities for this.

 

 

 

Hyungwon doesn’t know, how long but Minhyuk stops tracing circles on his body and he thinks that the other’s probably going to leave now, but he doesn’t. There’s a soft ruffling on the bed, and it’s not until Hyungwon sees Minhyuk in front of him because the other had gone off the bed to face him, does he see the other looking at him.

“I don’t need your pity or sorry, Minhyuk. So if you’re going to do that to me, I rather have you get out.”  
“That’s not what it is at all. I admit, those boundaries were more for myself, but I just wished you told me…”

 

“And get laughed off at? Rejected?” Hyungwon winces at the words he’s spewing out. He sounds so offended, so sensitive, and everything he’s trying to hide is coming out. It’s ugly, and it hurts himself knowing that he’s so affected.

“I know you, Minhyuk. You don’t settle for feelings because you’re not comfortable with them, so I obviously wouldn’t give you the burden of it, because I know you would feel sorry after it. Why was it even “you?” It would have been that much easier if it was someone else. Someone I wasn’t close or friends with.”

Hyungwon wants to push the other away. It crushes him enough he’s stupid enough to fall for his best mate. Why was it Minhyuk, out of the many others that he could have fallen for? But the other resumes to be in front of him, and the other’s brushing his fringe away. It’s soft, the tender touches and the gentleness that Minhyuk’s giving him and Hyungwon doesn’t know how many mixed emotions he’s feelings right now. There are too many to count.

“Don’t- Minhyuk cuts him off.

 

“You know, you were’t the only one to mess up. It wasn’t until two weeks after you left alone, did I feel lonely. I went to parties and got fucked so many times thinking that it’ll replace whatever emptiness I had after, but it never worked. I dyed my hair red thinking that maybe, just maybe, you would try to even talk to me, at least shallowly compliment me, because I know I’m shallow like that, but that didn’t even happen…”

 

Hyungwon swallows. They were a mess. Both of them. No wonder, Kihyun had warned him not to fuck with Minhyuk so often. The other’s warning clearly hinted that spending too much time with Minhyuk would just get him into some troubled sort of arrangement. It definitely did, and here they were. Really messed up and painfully stupid.

“I’m sorry, Hyungwon. I’ve been selfish this entire time, and you’ve just always been there. Wordlessly, accepting of whatever I did, and maybe I pushed us too far.”  
“No shit,” and Hyungwon still lets Minhyuk sit on him, with the other swaddling his hips.

“I caught feelings too… I like you.”

Minhyuk’s busy playing with his fingers, but Hyungwon’s not having it as he knocks the other onto the bed and somehow manoeuvres them to just kind of cuddling side to side. He was always the softer one, the romantic, the idealist. But perhaps so is Minhyuk, as the other wastes no time in taking off Hyungwon’s shirt because it has been so long, and besides just missing his close friend, and one of a fuck buddy, he’s also missed the physique. From  
a couple few pecks, he mutters that it’s an absolute shame as a friend that he’s never seen Hyungwon’s tattoos on his chest and back before but Hyungwon’s sure that the other just wants him topless.

 

“The dragon tattoo really suits you. That, and it looks really hot.”  
Minhyuk exhales a laugh. Trust, Minhyuk to stay absolutely shallow. He continues tracing along the many other designs making sounds of “ooh,” and “ahh,” as he appreciates the art that’s on Hyungwon’s body. The delicate details, the artistry, all the fine things and Hyungwon himself.

 

“So are we good?”  
“Mmhm, I don’t know Minhyuk.”

He’s just being cheeky but Hyungwon pulls a quick breather after he and Minhyuk just made out for a couple minutes. He remembers how he and Minhyuk had made out a little while after he had gotten his tongue piercing. The other had told him that it was hot, and a total treat of a surprise, and he supposes that it still is, because Minhyuk still doesn’t stop swirling his tongue over the pierced area while kissing. If Minhyuk never told him, Hyungwon’s luscious lips, with the tongue piercing was a definite motive to get it on. He was just attractive, hot stuff and Hyungwon always turned Minhyuk on.

 

“We’re good if we’re on the same page.”

 

 

It’s not after Minhyuk’s fingers tracing across his chests and back and just clutching onto him as if he was going to leave, do they end basically naked, because they simply couldn’t resist after so long.

“Can we?” Minhyuk mouthes as the space between Hyungwon’s neck and the shakey exhale Hyungwon gives pegs the other on.  
“Let’s do it slow, this time.” Minhyuk’s fingers clutch onto Hyungwon’s shoulders and Hyungwon feels the smile that creeps up on the other’s lips as Minhyuk continues with the kisses.

 

“Yea, I would love that. I’ll love to do whatever you wanted right now.” Minhyuk’s husky voice resonates softly against the space of his room and Hyungwon thinks that it’s good to have the other back.

It’s not just sex. It’s slow, and languid and Hyungwon hears the other’s moans clearly as he thrusts into the other. They’re consumed by the moment, but even more by the deep feelings they have for each other. Hyungwon doesn’t know what would happen next, but he hopes for the best. It’s when they’re both tired and sweaty, across the white bedsheets does Hyungwon remember. They’re simply embracing each other and Minhyuk’s eyes twinkle as he looks at him. The fondness not ending, Hyungwon thinks that it would be bliss to have the other with him until the very end of his life.

 

 

“I never got around to telling you that I prefer your hair now, than the redhead moment you had.”

 _“Yea?”_  
_“Yea.”_

“And I’m sorry, making you go through so much…”

And when Hyungwon looks back at him, there’s a glow over Minhyuk’s slender face from the natural light that shines from outside his window. It’s gone dark since dinner, and the moon’s out. The pale moonlight then shines over the both of them, and highlights their features. Maybe it’s the beauty of their slender forms and the way the mood just is, but Minhyuk reaches for his clavicle and Hyungwon eases into the brief smooch.

It was salient, the opposites that they both were. Minhyuk was like embers burning, with a glint in his eye, and when Hyungwon had played along, he had risked it all in not becoming burnt. Yet, here they were, together in bed and Minhyuk just there with him in the mere moment after having slow sex, which they never usually had, and Minhyuk’s peering into his orbs head-on as if challenging himself, or willing to endure whatever Hyungwon was to give him. It could pose as if Hyungwon was the ocean himself, and that Minhyuk would still be willing to risk it all. For him. Just for him.

 


End file.
